Regret
by W0nderboy
Summary: What happened to Tomoyo after the end of Spirit? Please R&R! ^_^


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This is a what if story that takes place around issue #5 of Card Captor   
Sakura. I have only seen a few episodes of the show, and those were the   
ones on Kids WB, so don't please don't flame me, thank you. The story  
is told by Sakura and Tomoyo and Kero in first person narration.  
Hopefully it makes some sense. You should read the following stories first:  
  
Ghost (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=104983)  
  
Spirit (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=195051)  
  
Both of them are on here. None of these are chapters. They never were suppose to be. They are three separate stories   
connected together in some way, so please don't take this off FF.N  
Anyways, I hope you enjoy it.  
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Tomoyo wasn't there when I woke up. I searched all over the room. Everyone was asleep so I flew out of the room. Tomoyo failed to close the door. I guess she woke up and left not waking me up. Probably downstairs watching cartoons. I dashed downstairs. She wasn't there. Then I went upstairs again. I couldn't find her. Then I noticed the bathroom door was open. I hesitated.  
  
"Tomoyo?"  
  
Then I saw her.  
  
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The house was a great sight. When you're in the hospital for so long, you get to appreciate stuff. I ran up to my room. It was the same as I left it. It was great to be home.   
  
"Kero-Chan?"  
  
Oh yes, I forgot Tomoyo had him. I will call and ask her to bring him to school with her. They would think that it was just a toy. Hopefully no one (especially Toya) heard me called out Kero-Chan's name. Not like it mattered. I was worried a bit though. I once heard this quote, "When the cats away, the mice will play." I wonder what would happen if a Clow Card knew I that was gone. That would be trouble. I really didn't know if they had done anything yet, but I had a feeling I would find out soon enough.  
  
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She stared at me. She looked like she had been crying.  
  
"You're lucky that my parents aren't awake yet Kero. I was just looking for something."  
I noticed that a piece of cloth was tied around her wrist. She must of cut herself somehow.  
  
"I guess we should continue that card game."  
  
She was in a good mood. She seemed depressed last night...  
  
"What's wrong Kero?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
She left to her room I said I would meet her there if by some chance her parents didn't wake up and find out about me. I scanned the bathroom and then looked where she was last. I saw a shiny object; it was a razor blade. I look closer there was something on there. My imagination. Then I realized that it wasn't. I did see something on there and I knew what it was.  
  
It was blood.  
  
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Regret  
By Evil Clow  
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I am a coward.   
  
I couldn't commit suicide. Why? My life means nothing to me and if it's to save Sakura, then please let me die. Am I due to be tortured like this forever? I never asked to be. I'm thinking of Sakura. I always am. I never think of myself. It's always for Sakura's sake. Maybe... Maybe I am wrong. But is love really wrong when two people find happiness? I don't see any here. A tear runs down my cheek.  
  
If only...If only I could of done it. I cut myself, yes. But it wasn't anywhere near the veins. It was like I wasn't trying to.  
  
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Sakura finally picked me up from Tomoyo's. She was totally creeping me out. Sakura asked where she was and her mother (Who was giving Sakura a hard stare for some reason) told her that she wasn't feeling well and she would be out for a few days.  
  
She got nervous and told her that she wished Tomoyo well and she left.  
  
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"Kero-Chan?"  
  
"Yeah Sakura?"  
  
"Do you know what happened to Tomoyo-Chan?"  
  
"Well um..."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"She got stomach pains and she couldn't sleep. It happened after she saw you in the hospital."  
  
"Oh, ok."  
  
She couldn't hide her expression. She was worried about her best friend.  
  
"She'll be all right, right Little Kero?"  
  
"Just give her a couple of days."  
  
I changed the subject.  
  
"So what happened in the hospital? Anything interesting?"  
  
"Nothing much. I got a visit from mother again."  
  
Nadeshiko. So it wasn't a Clow Card as I thought.  
  
"We had a fight..."  
  
Her tone went down. It was now a sad one.  
  
"I told her to leave."  
  
I changed the subject again.  
  
"Tomoyo gave me some news that someone or something was causing some trouble at the swimming pool again.  
  
"A Clow Card? But didn't I capture water?"  
  
I said, "It just might be a different one. She told me it was near the swimming pool. She saw it on the news. And that's not all. Another disturbance appeared in downtown Tokyo and another somewhere in this neighborhood. The Clow Cards knew you were gone. They've been having a field day!"  
  
"I'll handle it."  
  
"Careful Sakura.", I said, I have no idea which ones they are.  
  
She gave a grin.  
  
"Aren't I always I always?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Her voice went quiet again.  
  
She was thinking of Tomoyo.  
  
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I wish I could have told her the truth, but what do I say? Sorry Sakura, but Tomoyo couldn't sleep and might of tried suicide? She didn't have to hear that. It would kill her inside. I knew something was up. I suspected that her not been able to sleep and the hidden blade with the blood on it had something to do with it. I had no proof. Everything I just said was just a hunch. Still, Sakura would not know. If she found out, then she might be distracted and would not try to capture the Clow Cards. And that would be a problem. No. She would never know. I would make sure of that.  
  
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I stared at the stars. I couldn't really sleep. Tomoyo. Maybe I shouldn't worry. Kero says she'll be all right, and I trust him enough. Enough, it's time.  
  
I put on my outfit that I used when I fought Water. Then I opened the window and crawled down. Then I ran.  
  
When I thought I was far enough from the house, I pulled out my wand.  
  
"FLY!"  
  
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The couple walked down the street hand in hand.  
  
"Oh, that late night movie was scary."  
  
"I know, but there are no such things as witches."  
  
"Oh yeah, what do you call that?" She pointed to the sky.  
  
In the moon, there was a shadow of a person flying on what look like a broom.  
  
But instead of the end being the whiskers of the broom, it had what looked like the shape of a bird. And it also looked like it had wings that were flapping to hold it up...  
  
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Sakura looked at the city below. It was beautiful. She enjoyed flying, but she never took the time to look at it during the night.  
  
"Beautiful..."  
  
She realized that she had no time to waste. Kero had flown ahead of her to check on the situation at hand. Her mind wandered to earlier when she talked with Kero.  
  
"It just might be a different one. She told me it was near the swimming pool. She saw it on the news. And that's not all. Another disturbance appeared in downtown Tokyo and another somewhere in this neighborhood. The Clow Cards knew you were gone. They've been having a field day!"  
  
A field day. But how did they know that she was gone. How did they know that she was a Card Captor? Many questions ran through her head and she could think of the answers to any of them. She look down again. She was near where Kero had said to meet her. She knew it was risky to fly all the way to the park, but it was faster too. She hoped no one would recognize her.  
  
"Careful Sakura. I have no idea which ones they are."  
  
Sakura landed in the park. The rest of the way she would have to run.  
  
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I'm just lying here. Sakura. You're out there aren't you? You're going to fight the Clow without me. I won't be there to support you like I have once done before. Next time, next time... I am weak. I don't know why. What is happening to me? Sleep. I will sleep now. I will get better; you'll see Sakura. I *WILL* be there when you fight the Clow once again. You've gone too far to give up now. I just hope that you can do without me this time. Be careful. Please watch over her. You have no idea how much she means to me.  
  
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Sakura landed in the area.  
  
"Kero-Chan?"  
  
Maybe he's still looking around.  
  
"Kero-Chan, where are you?"  
  
I heard laughter, and I spun around. There was the largest beast I had ever seen. He looked like one of those creatures that one would only see in fairy tale books. He was wearing what looked like pants and that was it. His shirtless body stretch, revealing his biceps. He laughed again. I was starting to get annoyed.  
  
"Are you looking for him?"  
  
He tossed an object down. It was muddy, but when I looked closer I saw a streak of yellow where mud was missing, and a tail was sticking out.  
  
"Kero-Chan!"  
  
I tried to run up to get him, but a hand blocked the way.  
  
"You really think I would let you steal my new toy?"  
  
I gave a glare at him.  
  
"Who are you?", I yelled out.  
  
"I am known by many names, but since I'm looking at a Card Captor, and scrawny one at that.", he said trying to intimidate me, "You can call me The Elf."  
  
"The Elf?"  
  
"I looked at his face again, and sure enough, he had two-pointed ear to prove it.  
  
"A Card Captor huh? Boy, they know how to pick em'."  
  
Then he disappeared. I felt something hit me. I felt to the ground, clasping my stomach. More laughing as he reappeared in the same place.  
  
"You talk tough, but when it comes down to it, you're no Card Captor.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Kero-Chan. I see him struggling towards me.  
  
"She is more of a Card Captor then you will even be a Clow Card."  
  
"WHAT????????!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn you!!!!!!!!"  
  
"He's... a Clow Card."  
  
"No Sakura, worse, they are the rejects. Clow made others besides the ones your chasing. He made them too strong. Do you know anything about Mythology Sakura?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Dragon, Ogre, Troll, Lycanthrope, Orc, Hydra, Golem, Elf, Chimera, and Phoenix. Some of the worse bunch I even had the pleasure to meet.  
  
"You're one to talk Kerberos."  
  
It knew Kero?  
  
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A scream occurred. Tomoyo turned to see a giant... she had no idea what it was. It held Sakura in her grasp, screaming in pain as he squeezed the hand that she was clutched in tighter and tighter.   
  
"Tomoyo, please... help me."  
  
"She looked helpless.  
  
"Please.", as tears ran down her face.  
  
He gave an evil grin, and Tomoyo closed her eyes, as she heard the sickening crunch. Tomoyo opened her eyes and was shocked. Sakura was still clutched in his fist, but she wasn't moving, and it looked like it was chewing something. Then something dropped out of his mouth. Tomoyo looked at it.   
  
"NO!!!!!"  
  
It was a shoe, a bloody shoe, and it included a foot with it.  
  
"NO!!!!!"  
  
It dropped the body. Sakura's body, or the top half.  
  
"NO!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!!"  
  
She rushed over to the body. She gently cradled it, while her tears mixed with Sakura's blood.  
  
"To...moyo..."  
  
Sakura was staring at her. Tears of both girls now stained the blood.  
  
"Th...ank...you."  
  
"Sakura, you shouldn't talk. We have to get you to the hospital."  
  
"It's...too..."  
  
"It is NOT too late."  
  
"Ple...ase tell Dad and T..oya...that I lov...  
  
"Stop it."  
  
"It's over."  
  
Tomoyo spun her head to that...thing. Then she turned back Sakura. And she knew. She didn't hold her tears back.  
  
"Don't worry little one. You'll see her soon enough. Tomoyo turned her head, and the she saw was the hand grabbing her. She felt its hand squeezing as she cried out. Her tears hit his hand. He laughed. Then it squeezed tighter and tighter. The last thing she heard was her body exploding from the impact.  
  
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As I woke up, I saw mother.  
  
"Dear, are you all right?"  
  
My body was still intact. Another nightmare.  
  
"You were tossing and turning and yelling out Sakura. Who is Sakura?"  
  
I forgot, Mother hasn't met Sakura yet, even though she is related to her. Nadeshiko and her were cousins I think. Strange.  
  
"Well..."  
  
Her voice was in a worried state.  
  
"No one.", I said, just a person in my dreams.  
  
"Oh Tomoyo-Chan, what happened to your wrist?"  
  
I had forgot about that. It was the result of my would-be attempt at suicide. I had worn long sleeves to hide it, but I guess I ended up forgetting, or was it the Nightmares doing it?  
  
"Something broke in class and it hit my wrist. Fortunely we were able to stop it before it got serious. I would have told you mother, but I didn't want to worry you."  
  
She nodded. I wish she could have used a different way to answer me.  
  
"Can I get back to sleep?"  
  
"Sure.", she said. She gave me a kiss, turned off the light, and closed the door so I was in total darkness.  
  
"Sakura..."  
  
Something was happening out there. Something bad was going to happen to Sakura. I could feel it. I don't know how, but I could feel it.  
  
"Sorry mother."  
  
I opened my window and looked down. I went over to check to see mother was truly asleep, then I went to my be and silently took off the sheets. I tied them together with several good knots and I tied one end to the bedpost. The rest went out the window.  
  
I silently crept down the wall. Or tried anyways. As the knot from the bedpost slipped, so did I, and my body fell into some bushes underneath. I emerged a bit scratched, but otherwise ok. Then I realized in horror, there was one detail I forgot. How to get there! And to make matters worse. I could get back inside of the house. The way I took out was now an obstacle. And if I did get there, what could I do? I would just be in the way. I was a stupid girl for thinking I could help Sakura out. Stupid! Stupid!  
  
"Don't get your hopes down."  
  
Who said that?  
  
"I will help you this once."  
  
I walk around trying to find the owner of the voice.  
  
"Only this once, afterwards, your on your own."  
  
I felt something hit me extremely fast. It didn't hurt. It was...a gentle feeling.  
  
Then I blacked out.  
  
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I woke up in what looked like a hospital. Nadeshiko lying peacefully on a bed. Her eyes were closed, like she was sleeping but she wasn't breathing!? Then a man went over and checked her pulse, was she...  
  
"Dead at 3:45 PM."  
  
"Too bad, what do you think will happen when you tell her husband and her children that their mother has..."  
  
"I know you're new here, but if you're here as long as I was, well you sort of get used to   
it."  
  
"You mean", said the second doctor, "To not let this get to you?"  
  
"Something like that, but..."  
  
"But?"  
  
"Sometimes, there are exceptions. Let's go. We got a lot of patients and it's better to tell the bad new fast."  
  
They both left the room. It was white. All white. I assumed that they couldn't see me. I heard the whole thing. I walked over to her and looked at her. She looked like she died a peaceful death, no pain at all, but if that was so, why was she here on Earth? Then I felt light and the room flashed and I was in a different place. A house, one I had never seen before. Though it looked very familiar. As I walked around, I released I had been in this house before. It was Sakura's, but it looked a lot different then when I saw it. It looked like no one was home, then I heard crying. I followed it upstairs to a small room. Then I saw her. She looked about three and she was on her bed. She looked about 3. She had the same hair color my...   
  
It was Sakura.  
  
"Mommy. Why did you have to leave mommy?"  
  
I walked over and put my hand on her head.  
  
"Sakura..."  
  
"Then I realized I couldn't do anything. I couldn't comfort her, or talk with her. I bet she felt helpless right now. I heard the door open and Toya came in.  
  
"Sis?"  
  
"Leave me alone."  
  
He sat in the bed and Sakura-Chan cried in his lap.  
  
"It's ok... It's ok..."  
  
I was watched. Was this the real Toya?  
  
"Mom's gone and there's nothing we can do."  
  
She looked up. She was angry. Something you would hardly see in Sakura.  
  
"But why? WHY DID THEY TAKE MOMMY?"  
  
She put her head in back in Toya's lap.   
  
"I wish I knew Sakura..."  
  
Was he crying? I guess Toya wasn't that thickheaded after all. But then again, Nadeshiko was his mother too.  
  
I released that I had just seen part of Sakura's life. A painful one. It must of been heartbreaking, to find out that your wife had just died is one thing, but for a child. I understand a little bit more about Sakura. She was a tough person to love. She hid all her feelings down inside. And while she never showed it, I had seen it when she fought the Clow Cards, her anger, her hate, her loneliness.  
  
I love Sakura more now. She is what kept me living. Hopefully she could tell me what happened that day...  
  
If she was still alive. I forgot. Where was I anyways?  
  
"You are in the dimension of thought."  
  
The whole area turned black, and a figure appeared.  
  
"I know that love Sakura", she said in a quiet voice. "So I gave you a glimpse of what she is inside. Nadeshiko does not know of this."  
  
I just saw something personal, something I was never supposed to. A tear ran down my cheek.  
  
Sakura. I am a fool. You don't deserve someone like me.  
  
"And now Tomoyo, it is time for you to reach your destination."  
  
Then I blacked out again.  
  
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He looked out the window to see Tokyo. On has lap was a board covered with magical designs. Soon, very soon, the Clow would be his.  
  
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I woke up in the park. The park? How did I get here? I couldn't remember anything after I fell out the window. Then I heard a noise close by. I remember Sakura.  
  
I ran towards the noise as fast as I could...  
  
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The fans of cardcaptors-uncensored.com inspired this story. I had no intention of continuing it, but a few fans were hoping that the ending wasn't what they thought would have happened.  
  
Hence this story. It was fun to write. Please tell me what you thought of it. ^_^  
  



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